What is Your Most Repeated Advice for Patients?
Psychologist Brief
What is Your Most Repeated Advice for Patients?
In the quest for mental wellness, we've gathered invaluable advice from seasoned professionals, including Mental Health Counselors and Clinical Psychologists. From the importance of building strong relational networks to the necessity of validating all your feelings, explore twelve pieces of advice these experts frequently find themselves echoing to patients.
- Build Strong Relational Networks
- Practice Self-Inquiry
- Accept the Healing Journey
- Contextualize Your Life Moment
- Feelings Are Data, Not Directives
- Prioritize Life's Demands
- Shift from Thinking to Doing
- Embrace the Emotional Spectrum
- View Emotions as Information
- Listen to Your Body's Signals
- Honor Self-Commitments
- Validate All Your Feelings
Build Strong Relational Networks
Whether I'm supporting people via therapy or coaching, my number one piece of counsel is to build relationships. Research supports that knowing we have 'someone in my corner' is one of the most powerful healing agents across mental health diagnoses, personal crises, and simply navigating the human experience. When we layer the loneliness epidemic challenging so many people on top of life's inevitabilities, a strong relational network becomes even more important. If you don't have a personal 'board of directors' with whom you can safely communicate, solicit support, and seek counsel, start there!
Practice Self-Inquiry
One personal practice and meaningful piece of advice I often give to clients is the practice of "Self-inquiry." This practice, based on ancient yoga traditions, involves asking yourself questions to explore your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.
Clients are instructed to observe thoughts, desires, and/or aversions without judgment. The goal is to teach clients to become aware of their feelings and emotions rather than simply reacting.
Practice asking yourself "Who am I?" or "What am I?", and focus on the feeling of being that arises in the heart, and try to hold on to that feeling of bliss for as long as possible.
If or when a thought arises, ask "To whom does this thought arise?"
The answer should be "To me."
Repeat steps 1 and 2 with patience and diligence.
Consistency will make the practice easier. At times, distracting thoughts may be a part of the practice.
Good luck!
Accept the Healing Journey
One piece of advice I often find myself repeating is: "It's okay to not have all the answers right now. Healing is a journey, not a destination, and it's important to be patient and compassionate with yourself along the way." This reminder helps people understand that growth and healing take time, and that it's normal to experience uncertainty or setbacks during the process.
Often, I think people feel they need answers and solutions immediately, and while we all enjoy fast results, healing is one of those things that just takes time.
Contextualize Your Life Moment
The guidance I return to over and over is that the moment you are in right now is always just one moment in the course of your (hopefully) long life. If you look back over the past 10 years, you probably notice that you've changed in a number of ways, many of which you could not have predicted. Looking forward 10 years, you will almost certainly change a great deal too. We have a tendency to assume that we will stay the same as we are right now, but that's not actually true. So, if you will continue to grow, learn, evolve, and develop over the next decade, you can assume that whatever you're going through right now will eventually pass. Try to see this moment in the context of your lifetime and consider what you can discover by putting this moment in context.
Feelings Are Data, Not Directives
Feelings are just that. They are valid and help us understand our experience; they are data points of information. They are not directives or facts; they are neither good nor bad. It is helpful to recognize our feelings and to move through them, but we don't necessarily have to do anything with them. Recognize them, take a breath, and keep going.
Prioritize Life's Demands
When you are feeling overwhelmed, it often seems as though all of life's tasks/demands are glass balls that you are struggling to juggle. We often fear that letting a ball fall would be catastrophic. The reality is that many of the balls you are viewing as glass are actually made of rubber. Sometimes, you need to let some of those rubber balls bounce so that you can focus on self-care and prioritize what is most important in life.
Shift from Thinking to Doing
For individuals struggling with chronic worry or rumination, my biggest advice is 'less thinking, more doing.' It's important to get out of being stuck in your head and doing the things that you value in life.
Embrace the Emotional Spectrum
I often find myself repeating some very basic, but also profound, advice that applies to a wide variety of my clients. It is the idea that as we allow ourselves to experience our natural emotions (e.g., sadness, fear, grief, happiness, contentment), not only do they pass by more quickly, but it enables us to experience life more fully, with less emotional baggage. We all want to experience the 'highs' of life, including the 'positive' feelings, but in order to do that, we also have to be willing to experience and accept the 'lows,' or the 'negative' feelings. Without the lows, there are no highs. When we try to suppress, ignore, or numb the negative emotions, not only do we also numb the positive emotions, but it can lead to other problems such as PTSD, somatic symptoms, or addictions. Learning to embrace natural emotions and be present through both the highs and the lows can give you the freedom to let go of the past, and feel more like yourself in the future.
View Emotions as Information
I frequently encourage clients to try to view their emotions, not as unwanted problems to get rid of, but as information. Our emotions are our body's way of trying to tell us something about what we need, even if the emotion itself is unpleasant to experience. For example, anger tells us that something unjust has happened that has hurt someone, and that something needs to change to protect that someone (often, the someone is you!). Viewing emotions in this more curious and neutral way allows us to listen to the valuable information they are trying to convey, and it also helps us get less stuck in them.
Listen to Your Body's Signals
I often find myself repeating this phrase: They're called feelings because we feel them in our body. We are not brains on a stick! Our brain and body are connected. Try using a tool like the body scan to investigate what clues our body is giving us. Stomach in knots? Palms sweaty? That's your body telling you to listen up! Take some time to tune into what it's trying to tell you.
Honor Self-Commitments
One piece of advice that I find myself repeating to clients is "honor the commitments you make to yourself." So often, we forget about ourselves and our wellness in the day-to-day hustle and grind. We are quick to put our needs and wants on the back burner and wonder why we feel burnt out and tired day in and day out. We often honor the commitments we make to others daily, but don't give ourselves the same commitment. I constantly encourage clients to take time for themselves daily, and if they say they were going to do something for themselves like read, write, work out, etc., I encourage them to do just that. Honoring the commitments and promises you make to yourself is just as important as doing it for others. It's impossible to pour from an empty cup, and it's imperative that we show up for ourselves the same way we show up for those around us.
Validate All Your Feelings
Oftentimes, we feel many different feelings about something or someone. Sometimes they can even be opposing feelings. Many people assume and try to just focus on one feeling, but make sure you validate ALL the feelings that exist within you, even if they don't make rational sense. Emotions aren't always rational or logical, and yet they exist. The more you validate your feelings, the more you'll feel heard, seen, and less alone.
