8 Tips for Getting the Most Out of Therapy Sessions
Therapy can be a powerful tool for personal growth and healing, but many people struggle to make the most of their sessions. Drawing on insights from experts in the field, this article offers valuable tips to enhance the effectiveness of therapy. Whether you're new to therapy or a long-time participant, these strategies can help you navigate your sessions with confidence and purpose.
- Approach Therapy with Curiosity, Not Performance
- Set Intentions Before Entering the Session
- Share Honestly for Effective Feedback
- Build Trust and Set Clear Goals
- Track Emotions and Communicate Needs
- Address Difficult Topics First
- Explore One Emotional Moment per Session
- Focus on Goals and Provide Feedback
Approach Therapy with Curiosity, Not Performance
One of the most effective tips I offer, both as a therapist and someone who values therapy myself, is this: Come to session with curiosity, not performance.
It's so easy to fall into the trap of trying to "do therapy right" and to show up with tidy insights, explain things clearly, or feel like you need to have a breakthrough every time. But therapy isn't a test, and it's not a performance review. It's one of the few spaces where you don't have to be polished or productive. You just have to be real.
When you approach therapy with curiosity about your emotions, your patterns, and your reactions, you give yourself permission to be imperfect, messy, uncertain, or even completely stuck. And that's often where the most meaningful work begins. You can say, "I don't know why I'm feeling this way," or "I'm noticing I want to shut down right now," and trust that those moments matter. Your therapist isn't grading your progress. They're walking with you while you explore it.
Curiosity also helps you stay present in the session, rather than getting caught in self-judgment. If you're feeling resistance to a topic, instead of pushing past it or apologizing, you can get curious: Why is this so hard to talk about right now? What would feel safer? That gentle exploration often leads to insights that a scripted narrative wouldn't uncover.
This mindset is also powerful between sessions. If something comes up during your week—an emotional reaction, a communication misfire, a sudden drop in energy—you can jot it down or voice-memo it with curiosity instead of labeling it as "bad." Then bring it into your next session without editing. That openness allows therapy to meet you where you actually are, not where you think you should be.
Ultimately, therapy works best when we bring our full, imperfect selves into the room. Curiosity makes that possible. It quiets the inner critic and opens the door to growth that's grounded in compassion, not pressure.
Set Intentions Before Entering the Session
Your Most Important 5 Minutes of Therapy Happen Before You Arrive
My single most important tip for getting the most out of therapy is this: arrive 10 minutes early, and before you even walk in the door, take five of those minutes to sit in your car and ask yourself, "What is the one thing I need to talk about today?"
I've seen the power of this simple ritual time and again in my own psychiatry practice. I once worked with a client who felt perpetually stuck. He was a master at filling the hour; we'd have a pleasant chat about his week, but I sensed he was skillfully avoiding the one thing that was really bothering him. Initially, he would leave the sessions feeling frustrated, like he wasn't making any real progress because, in truth, we weren't getting to the heart of the matter. The challenge was that our sessions would begin without a clear focus to cut through that avoidance.
I suggested he try this pre-session pause. The very next week, he walked in and said, "Okay, I know what it is. It's the resentment I feel every time my boss emails me after 6 p.m." That was it. That was the entry point. By setting an intention beforehand, he gave himself the permission and the courage to name the real issue, transforming our sessions from a general catch-up into a focused, problem-solving collaboration.
This tip is so effective because it shifts you from being a passenger to being the driver of your own therapeutic journey. It helps you push past the natural tendency to avoid difficult topics and ensures that you, not the clock, decide the most important subject of the day. It honors the investment you're making in yourself and turns that 50-minute hour into a powerful catalyst for change.
Share Honestly for Effective Feedback
As a psychologist, I love this question! I think the best thing clients can do to get the most out of their sessions is to go into them as honestly and candidly as possible. Sometimes it is tempting to only share details that prove your point in a challenge or that make you look good, but if you only share that information, you are missing the best opportunity in therapy: feedback.
As your therapist, we are looking for ways to support you and not to judge your choices. I care deeply for my clients and can also hold space for their pain, problems, and parts of themselves that they do not like or have shame around. Even more, flaws do not cause me to dislike or lose respect for my clients. I expect them, as we are all flawed. Therapy is so much more effective if you allow your full self in the room as early in the process as possible.
Build Trust and Set Clear Goals
One of the best ways to get the most out of therapy is to build a strong relationship with your therapist and set clear goals for what you want to work on. These two elements—trust and direction—can help make therapy more effective.
First, it's important to establish a good connection with your therapist. When you feel safe and understood, it's easier to open up and discuss difficult topics. Therapy often evokes deep emotions, so it helps to have a therapist you trust. Personally, I find therapy more beneficial when my therapist is compassionate, listens attentively, and makes me feel supported. That strong relationship provides the comfort I need to communicate honestly.
Second, clear goals can give your therapy sessions more purpose. Goals help you and your therapist stay focused on what you want to change or improve. For example, you might aim to reduce anxiety, manage stress better, or work on your relationships. Discussing your goals early on helps you utilize your time in therapy most effectively.
When you have a therapist with whom you connect and goals that guide your sessions, therapy becomes more than just talking—it becomes a tool for real growth. You're not just working through problems; you're also developing a better understanding of yourself.
Track Emotions and Communicate Needs
As a therapist, I typically recommend a few things. The first is to write things down! I have heard a million times, "I wanted to talk about something, but I don't remember..." Keep a little notebook or notes in your phone for easy access.
Logging emotions is also very important. Tracking patterns is the bigger picture here, though. It is important to see what the contributors to feelings are and their influence.
Something that is on a more personal level is telling your therapist what you need. Not every person will be able to give you that, and I have seen a lot of people stay with unfit therapists for a long time. We are all people, so there are millions of different fits. Just because one therapist can't give you something doesn't mean another cannot. It's just complex and about finding the right fit. It is important to tell your therapist your needs and truth. We can only help if we know, and I would hope that if that person did not feel equipped to deal with the issue, they would refer out. Also, think of the therapeutic relationship as the role model for others. This is where you get to make mistakes and learn to communicate in a safe place.
Address Difficult Topics First
One tip I give to every client—whether they're in our residential program or attending outpatient therapy—is this: Bring the thing you least want to talk about into the room first.
That's where the real work starts. Most people come into therapy trying to manage how they're perceived—even with their psychologist. They talk about the stress at work, the relationship issues, the surface-level anxiety. But the core stuff—the shame, the resentment, the relapse they haven't told anyone about yet—that's buried. And until that comes up, progress stalls.
In my own life and in our clinical work at Ridgeline Recovery, I've seen this shift change everything. When clients stop trying to be the "good patient" and start being brutally honest, the entire tone of therapy changes. You stop managing the session, and you start participating in your own healing.
It's not easy. People think they need to build rapport or feel "ready" first. But the truth is, the longer you wait, the harder it becomes. Naming the real pain early not only deepens the therapeutic alliance—it accelerates transformation.
As a mental health professional, I've trained my team to meet those moments with zero judgment. When a client says, "I've never told anyone this before," we lean in. That trust is earned, and it's sacred. But it only happens when the client is willing to be vulnerable from the start.
So if you're going to therapy and you want it to actually work—don't dance around what's hard. Drag it into the light. That's where healing starts.
Explore One Emotional Moment per Session
I once broke down crying in the middle of an airport parking lot in Mexico City—and that moment changed the way I approach therapy forever.
As the owner of a luxury transport company, I'm usually the one solving problems, managing logistics, and ensuring every client feels safe and valued. However, that day, after three consecutive cancellations, a no-show driver, and a frantic bride's call from her hotel suite, I realized I had reached my emotional limit. So when I sat down with my therapist later that week, I did something different: I came prepared with one story, one emotion, and one question.
My tip? Enter each therapy session with a single emotional moment you want to explore. Not a topic—an actual memory that stirred something deep, whether it's anger, shame, guilt, or pride. This approach forces you to abandon intellectualizing and delve directly into what therapy excels at: processing emotions.
For me, recounting that airport breakdown helped me realize I was over-identifying with my business. I wasn't just managing a premium private driver service—I was absorbing every client's panic, every driver's emergency, and claiming it as my own. That one story shifted six months of therapy. It reframed how I delegate, how I recover from mistakes, and how I define success.
Now, before every session, I write down one moment from my week that evoked strong emotions. It's simple, human, and consistently productive.
Focus on Goals and Provide Feedback
As a clinical psychologist who provides evidence-based therapies like CBT and ACT, here are the top ways to get the most out of this kind of therapy session:
- Keep your goals front and center. Why did you start therapy, and what do you want the outcomes to be? Let that guide where you start each session. For example, if your therapy goal is to reduce anxiety, make sure to focus on how anxiety showed up for you this week. Your therapy goals are your guiding lighthouse if you're lost in the weeds of recounting your week.
- Talk about what worked and what didn't. In most evidence-based therapies, you learn new strategies or skills to apply in your real life. If you tried them out, share what was helpful or what got in the way. If you didn't try new skills, be transparent about why -- and make a plan that better fits your lifestyle for next time.
- Rank your top 2-3 topics to discuss. Therapy session time can easily be eaten up by sharing every concern that came up during the week. A great evidence-based therapy session leaves time for processing, learning new strategies, and making a plan for how to address it next time. You can help that process along by writing down and focusing on 2-3 main concerns from the week. This is also a way to empower yourself to take control of the direction of your own therapy. You may feel more present and engaged by going in depth on a few topics rather than covering many at surface level.
- Be upfront with your psychologist about how therapy is going for you. It can feel uncomfortable giving feedback to anyone, especially your psychologist. But ultimately, we as providers need to know how you're truly feeling about therapy to provide you the best possible service and outcomes. If something was very helpful or made a big difference in your life, let us know! If you're feeling doubts about a particular skill or your goodness of fit with a therapist, be sure to share it sooner rather than later. If your psychologist is able to accept the feedback and adapt, you'll have a better quality therapy experience. If they learn they can't provide what you're looking for, they can help connect you with a provider who does. And if they don't make the changes that you're wanting to see, you haven't wasted any time by wondering in silence. You've learned what you do and don't want in a therapy experience, and can use it to guide your search for a better fit.
www.drsabrinastutz.com
