7 Life-Changing Pieces of Advice from Psychologists
Psychologist Brief
7 Life-Changing Pieces of Advice from Psychologists
Navigating the complexities of the human psyche can be bewildering, but guidance from seasoned psychologists offers a beacon of clarity. This article distills life-altering advice from professionals who spend their days decoding thoughts and behaviors. Gain a fresh perspective as you explore insights on embracing discomfort, understanding reactions, and discerning the significance of your thoughts.
- Discomfort Does Not Mean Danger
- You Cannot Predict People's Reactions
- Therapists Need Their Own Therapy
- Embrace Anxiety As A Superpower
- Shift From Frustration To Compassion
- Not Every Thought Deserves A Response
- Your Thoughts Are Not Facts
Discomfort Does Not Mean Danger
Discomfort doesn't mean danger.
This helped me (and the men I work with) stop avoiding hard emotions and start facing them. Growth happens in the discomfort, not in running from it. While prolonged discomfort may indicate a deeper issue that threatens our well-being, short-term discomfort can serve as a guide, a teacher, and a signal that growth and positive change are possible.
You Cannot Predict People's Reactions
When I discovered hypnotherapy, with an exceptional practitioner, we had long discussions about the influence we can have on others, and about the consequences of our actions. She told me "if you push a stone with your foot, you know roughly where it will go; if you push a dog with your foot, you don't know what can happen." For me this means that we cannot predict people's reactions, and sometimes our certainties push us to anticipate scenarios that will never come true.
Therapists Need Their Own Therapy
The most valuable advice I received was upon getting accepted to graduate school, a well-known psychologist emphasized the importance of mental health professionals receiving their own therapy before entering the field. He mentioned that it is critical that we spend time first knowing how it feels to be the client, everything from sitting in the waiting room filling out paperwork to the vulnerability of sharing your most intimate details. However, the most important piece is not that we will ever be perfect or fully "fixed" but that we should be aware of our own issues and how they may present themselves when we are in the therapist's chair. Thirdly, he stated that the most valuable piece is how can we take care of our clients when we have not focused on our own well-being. In order to be an effective therapist, we have to be able to be in our best place so that we can truly focus and be present for others.
Embrace Anxiety As A Superpower
As I was learning to deal with my anxiety, my psychologist told me to embrace it as a superpower more than something bad that I fight to go away. He told me that the next time I'm entering a plane and start feeling anxious, to try and think "thank you, anxiety, for alerting me to the possible threats of the world! However, at this point I think we are fine - the plane is actually one of the safest places in the world." It really helped looking at anxiety as a tool rather than a monster, and avoiding battling it has prevented the spiraling that usually happened in these situations.
Shift From Frustration To Compassion
I remember sharing with my therapist about a relationship I had with a colleague and friend - one that left me emotionally drained after every interaction. Everything with her was complicated. Every problem she faced became a crisis, every success had to be validated, and every conversation somehow circled back to her. Under the guise of seeking advice, support, or collaboration, she always managed to make herself the central character.
And yet, I felt this constant pull to help. I rationalized it: "Maybe she just needs someone to listen. Maybe I can be the one to finally break through to her. Maybe if I just support her a little more, she'll stop seeking so much validation. After all, she only has me and no one else." But no matter how much I gave, it was never enough.
My psychologist listened carefully and then said something that completely reframed how I saw this dynamic:
"I want you to think about this relationship differently. As exhausting as it is for you to be around her, imagine what it must be like to be her. It's harder for [her name] to be [her name] than it is for you to be around [her name]."
It stopped me in my tracks. I had been so focused on my own exhaustion that I never considered the weight of being someone who constantly needs to take, who struggles to self-regulate, who is perpetually seeking external validation to feel whole. While I could walk away from our interactions feeling drained, she never got to walk away from herself.
That realization helped me shift from frustration to compassion. I could create boundaries without guilt. Instead of trying to "fix" her (or everything around her), I could accept that this was who she was. And most importantly, I learned that true compassion doesn't mean sacrificing yourself - it means understanding without absorbing, caring without carrying - and walking away without resentment, or need to explain or feeling responsible for someone else's burdens. And instead with a feeling of compassion, hoping that one day she'll find within herself what she's seeking from others and that she'll learn to give herself the support she so looks for in others.
Not Every Thought Deserves A Response
The most valuable piece of advice a psychologist ever gave me was: "Not every thought deserves a response."
At first, it seemed simple, but over time, it completely reshaped how I handle stress, anxiety, and decision-making. I used to believe that every worry, doubt, or intrusive thought needed to be analyzed, solved, or acted on. But in reality, thoughts are like passing headlines--not all of them are true, urgent, or even worth engaging with.
Learning to observe thoughts without reacting gave me the ability to step back, filter out noise, and focus only on what actually mattered. It helped me break cycles of overthinking, avoid unnecessary emotional spirals, and respond to situations with clarity instead of impulse.
Now, when my mind throws out a worry or self-doubt, I ask: "Is this thought useful, or just background noise?" If it's the latter, I let it go--just like changing the channel on a bad TV show.
Your Thoughts Are Not Facts
One of the most valuable pieces of advice a psychologist ever gave me was: "Your thoughts are not facts."
As an entrepreneur, it's easy to get caught in cycles of doubt, overanalyzing every decision or setback. This simple reminder helped me step back and see my thoughts as just that-thoughts, not absolute truths. Instead of letting negative self-talk dictate my actions, I started questioning it: Is this actually true, or just my fear talking?
This shift in mindset has been a game-changer, especially in high-pressure situations. When facing challenges in scaling Zapiy.com, I learned to separate emotions from reality and focus on data, strategy, and execution. It's helped me make better decisions, stay resilient, and lead with confidence.
